Well folks, tomorrow is the start of the rest of my life. I have a 9am appointment at my local hospital to see my wonderful doctor there and then we have to hot foot it to UCLH for 12 noon appointment.
Graham and I have been having a very rough past few days - he is of the mind set 'let's take each day at a time' whereas I am 's**t what is going on?' He badly needs a holiday from work as he is so stressed out with the Alliance and its people. I often forget I AM his wife and he IS concerned about me too and perhaps my selfishness is wrong. I feel that this is all about me when in reality it is about the WHOLE family unit. I forget how Neil and Lynne feel when I tell them I am going to UCLH - they are not stupid kids (they are not even kids - aged 26 and 24!).
I am praying that tomorrow we get given the news we are desperate for - that I have a large ovarian cyst than can be treated with a minor op. I am not at all religious but have found the inclination to talk to God over the last couple of weeks. Really I am talking to my dear old Dad, who passed away in 2000 and is buried far away in Scotland. He was always good at calming me down in excitable situations and predicaments - I only hope he is watching over me right now and tomorrow.
My biggest fear is that I have cancer and I will not live long enough to see our darling son Neil get married next Feb, to Michele; that I will not be around long enough to see any grandchildren born; that I will not see lovely Lynne settled with a nice boyfriend who will look after her forever.
I will try to come on here again after both my appointments tomorrow but depends a lot on what is said.
I haven't been cardmaking lately but am in the middle of knitting a baby cardigan and hat for a friend of the family - the Mummy was in labour in A & E the night I was there and I feel its only right that we give the newcomer a wee gift to welcome to this world.